One of the scariest things someone can do is to approach an attractive stranger in a bar and begin speaking.  While there are the limited few with nerves of steel who can talk with anyone about anything, the majority of us humans are actually intimidated by this act.  Why are some of us afraid of these conversations and others confident? How does this apply to being a lawyer and building a sustainable book of business? The ability to understand the “why” and overcome your own personal uncertainty could mean the difference between success and failure in building a sustainable law practice.

Although there are many different reasons why lawyers are so hesitant to go after new business, I would like to explore the top three that keep some attorneys awake at night.  The unfortunate truth for many attorneys is that without developing your own clients, you will not have the freedom and security that was so easily obtained 20 years ago.

Reason #1: The fear of rejection

One of the main reasons people don’t go into sales is because of the seemingly endless amount of rejection that comes with selling a service. You may recall your first experience with rejection when you were picked last for a game of kickball or when your best friend found someone new to hang out with. As you became older, someone may have turned you down at your local bar. You may have felt sick before approaching that person, and even worse when he or she wasn’t interested in your advances.  Whatever the case, you knew that you hated rejection and the way it made you feel. It’s obvious that the risk of getting rejected is something to avoid if given the choice.

There are two key elements to overcoming the fear of rejection. Unfortunately, they are not easily mastered until you’ve obtained the proper mindset. The first element is dealing with what I call “head trash.”  Head trash is the mess that you create between your two ears regarding things that you are afraid of. There’s an acronym for F-E-A-R, which stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” This means that you’ve built up something scary in your mind, when in reality nothing bad is going to happen. Think about the first time you went skiing or rode a roller coaster. Of course you might have been afraid—until it was over. Then you probably said, “What was I so afraid of?”

When it comes to rejection from your business development activities, the same sentence can be uttered, “What was I so afraid of?” One of the first things I do with the attorneys I work with is to get them to realize there is absolutely nothing to fear.  You’re not going to die or get hurt in any way. The rejection, if it does happen, is not personal.  The reality is that not everyone is going to do business with you. Sometimes it’s because you weren’t the best fit for them or they weren’t the right fit for you. That’s just the way it is.

Another important element to overcoming fear when selling legal services is to be very skilled at what you do. Top lawyers have an endless reserve of confidence because they know that no one else can do a better job for a client than they will. This confidence allows the fear to subside because if someone doesn’t select you, it’s his or her loss. Move on to the next opportunity, as there will be many more to come.

Reason #2: The stigma that is attached to the word “sales” and “salespeople.” 

One of the main reasons why lawyers are hesitant to invest time on their business development efforts is because of the negative feelings one has towards sales. It is seen as a dirty profession. The imagery of carpetbaggers and soapbox pitchmen is synonymous with the word sales.   To make things worse, we have all been “taken for a ride” at some point in our lives, paying too much for something we were sold. 

It’s possible that you chose a career in law, specifically to avoid having to sell anything. 

While I have been in sales for over 25 years, I never remember saying as a child, “Gee, one day I hope to grow up to be a salesperson.”  For many millions that are currently in a sales role, it’s really a default profession.  

As an attorney, you probably never thought that you would have to sell anything right?  More like “hoped.” The reality for most attorneys over 60 years old is that they didn’t have to sell. Being a good lawyer and trusted counselor was probably enough. In fact, my father retired from law in 1999 and never had to make a business development call or attend a networking event in his entire career. Well, obviously, things have changed.  Lawyers today need to control their own financial destiny by getting out there and originating new business. 

As I mentioned previously, it’s important to be the best lawyer you can be. It’s also critical to have a better process for selling legal services. The old school “pitch” meetings and aggressive tactics to closing new business are outdated. The easiest way to stop the negatively charged stigma associated with sales and salespeople is to stop doing it yourself.

Think about it this way. When you enter a courtroom for a big trial, are you properly prepared?  What happens if you aren’t? All attorneys know that preparation and execution in a courtroom are paramount for success to occur. In selling legal services, it’s not that different. Being properly prepared for a prospective client meeting is just as involved as going into the courtroom.  You need to have a more relationship driven and consultative approach, to remove the salesy element from the room. Ask questions and learn about the prospective client’s needs, wants and desires. While this is easy for me to say, it’s very difficult to actually execute. We are all wired to solve problems and present solutions. It’s a constant struggle to hold back, ask quality questions and really listen to a prospective client’s issues. Just yesterday, one of my clients closed a new piece of business. At the end of the meeting the prospect said to him, “I’ve never had an attorney ask me so many questions before. You really seem to understand my problems.” That’s it! If you can change your approach to avoid being salesy, the negative stigma will also be removed from within your brain.

Reason #3: Lack of education on business development

“They never taught me this in law school.”  If I’ve heard this once, I’ve heard it a hundred times. It’s sad, but true.  Skills including networking, time management, follow-up and selling process are all learnable for attorneys. Business development can be frustrating and challenging. Without the proper education on how to plan and execute on it, you might be doomed to fail from the start.

In order to be great at something, anything, you take lessons. For example, try learning a new language, sport or musical instrument without any professional help. Not an easy road to travel.  While some people are more adept at figuring things out through trial and error, we all know it’s best to seek out the best help available.

A few ideas for finding this education include seeking out an open-minded mentor at your firm. She likely has already traveled down the wrong paths and may help you avoid those pitfalls. Another option is to study the topic of sales. If you were to read five books and get a few take-aways from each one, you will probably make fewer mistakes. Even one small positive change that becomes a habit could have a significant effect on a career’s worth of business development. Lastly, look for professional help. There are coaches, consultants and trainers locally and nationwide that may be a good resource for you. Be sure to check references and try to find someone that you can connect with on a personal level. And those legal superstars around you who seem to attract business wherever they go? They are continually fine-tuning their skills as well—in such ways as coaching, training and peer-to-peer counseling. Whichever direction you decide, it’s definitely better than wasting countless hours on marketing efforts that aren’t getting you results for your time invested.

Whether you are a new partner in your firm, a solo player or an up-and-coming associate, it’s important to understand what sales is really all about.  The best business developers today aren’t the most aggressive, pushy or salesy. They are relationship focused, confident in their skills and consultative in how they approach new clients.  Strong business developers have lost the fear of rejection, and replaced it with confidence in their skills as a top lawyer and high level solution provider in the legal field.