Normal aging can be challenging, but caring for an aging family member with dementia is particularly difficult. Over the years, we have often seen caregivers suffer from exhaustion, compromising their mental and physical health. What can you do to alleviate some of the stress for a loved one who may one day be caring for you? 

Planning in advance can make an enormous difference. You can seek advice, make decisions and then share those plans with the people who will be caring for you and also with trusted advisors. Plans should be made to identify who will handle your health and financial decisions if you are unable to handle them yourself. Some of the legal documents you should create to designate who will assist you are:

1. a health care power of attorney that names someone as your agent to make your medical decisions if you are unable to make them
2. a durable power of attorney that appoints an agent to handle your financial decisions so that someone can pay your bills and manage your assets if you are unable to do so
3. a HIPAA authorization that allows the agents named under your powers of attorney to have access to your medical records

By creating these basic documents in advance, your family will avoid the expensive, time consuming, and cumbersome process of having to petition the court to appoint a guardian to make medical and financial decisions for you.

In addition, many clients also choose to create a revocable trust to provide for the management of their assets during their lifetime and also provide for the disposition of their assets at their death. If you use a revocable trust and become incapacitated, the person you have named as successor trustee will be able to step in and manage the assets you have put into the trust for you.

You also may want to consider some practical steps:

• Work with a financial planner to make sure you have resources and a plan to pay for care – to avoid having a spouse or family member bear responsibility for you.
• If you do not have the resources to self-insure, discuss with an attorney if Medicaid planning or other steps are advisable. 
• Introduce the person you have designated to make your financial decisions to your trusted advisors. An existing relationship or contact point makes things easier.
• Take steps to simplify your finances and consolidate accounts. Fewer, more streamlined accounts will make it easier for your loved ones to take over management of those assets if needed. 
• Set up safeguards for yourself. For example, you might want to give your advisors authorization to reach out to the person you have designated if they have concerns. You could also set up your accounts so that the person you have designated to make your financial decisions receives copies of account statements, so that they can monitor and keep an eye on things, even if they are not yet handling your affairs for you.

Taking steps to address an unwanted diagnosis and plan for challenging times is a gift to your loved ones when these difficult times occur.

And if you are the person caring for your family member, there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging time. It is always a good idea to meet with legal and financial advisors and make sure that you understand what you should be doing and what tools and care options might be available to help you.