I love a good national holiday. Who doesn’t? But even though I am a divorce attorney, National Divorce Month is not particularly high on my list of celebratory events.
January has been dubbed Divorce Month by family lawyers because in December, when everyone is wrapped up in the holidays and spending time with family and friends, many people rightly do not want to proceed with a separation or divorce. These actions would ruin the holidays for all parties involved and leave sad memories and associations long after the pain has subsided. Typically, couples will save marital changes until the start of a new year.
Of course, Divorce Month might be something of a myth. Fox News reported back in 2015 that divorce filings consistently peak during March and August. These trends are fascinating anecdotally, but February and September might also be strong candidates. After Valentine’s Day, when things don’t go so well, and maybe September, once the summer is over and the kids are going back to school, are times when married couples take stock of their relationship and consider whether or not to seek a divorce. Frankly, I want to validate if divorce filings statistically increase in these months for the whole country—consistent with my empirical observations.
Divorce – Where to Start
Once the decision has been made to seek a divorce—whether during Divorce Month or any other time—individuals should start by finding an excellent lawyer. I recommend interviewing several attorneys to get a feel for who might be a good fit. Picking a lawyer is more of an art than a science. You need to feel good about your choice.
I also suggest getting a therapist, especially if you have kids. Talking to a personal therapist can help ensure this is the right decision. Let me be clear: Individual therapy does not preclude seeing a joint therapist with your spouse to try and work things out or to have a forum to work together for the benefit of your children and family. Both can be effective. Those who know me know I believe that it is always worth trying to fix things, assuming things can be fixed and both parties are willing to do the hard work to make it happen.
Another step you should take is to organize your documents and financial matters. In addition to hiring a lawyer, you will likely end up working with a forensic accountant (through your lawyer), especially if your finances are complex or you suspect your spouse has hidden money. If custody is highly contentious, you may need a custody evaluation to evaluate you and your spouse—and your children—and make recommendations to the court. You may also need various forms of appraisals, including real estate, pensions, and other tangible assets (and some intangible). Seek out the help you need to prepare yourself for what lies ahead. You can never be too prepared when it comes to divorce.
The Influence of the Economy on Divorce
Just as consumer confidence impacts broader economic growth, a person’s financial well-being can also affect the decision to divorce. In my nearly 40 years of practicing family law, I have seen economic cycles influence when divorces occur. For example, some couples that have been married for a long time may decide to put off divorcing when housing prices go down, as their marital residence tends to be their most significant asset and they do not want to force the sale of an undervalued property. Instead, they may choose to stay together until the housing market rebounds. For others, if personal income is down, they may decide to stay together until cash flow is more substantial.
The flip side occurs when the breadwinner wants to have an easier time paying spousal support or have assets evaluated at a cut rate, so they consider downtime the ideal time to file for divorce. That said, in rougher economies, couples tend to avoid getting divorced. Even if they have a large estate, they may need to be more balanced due to liquidity issues. The economy, or the perceived effects of the economy, can impact the timing around divorce.
Divorce Month or Not, Ending a Marriage is Always a Difficult Time
Divorce is never easy, regardless of what time of the year it happens. As mentioned, the economy can have an impact, mainly when it adds stress to an already failing marriage. I will be interested to see how the current economy influences decisions to file for divorce .
I always find Divorce Month something of a mixed bag for me, emotionally. On the one hand, I feel like Sisyphus, eternally pushing the rock up the hill. Sometimes, it can be exhausting. But as we start the new year, I am exhilarated by new cases that I can sink my teeth into, and I am focused on how best I can help families. In the end, I always find hope triumphs over despair.