The Compliance Mash!


Ah, Halloween. The one day of the year where we celebrate non-compliance by masked, under-age workers.

And as our long-time readers know — and if you are not, you know who you are and need to hang your head in shame — it also marks the anniversary of our annual Halloween compliance parody articles. So, in honor of these two momentous occasions (you decide which one is more momentous), we thought we would provide a few fun facts about the world’s most famous Halloween song:

“The Compliance Mash!”

I was working on a project, late one night,
When my eyes beheld in the fluorescent light.
A compliance monster, began to rise,
And suddenly, to my surprise.

He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash)!
The Compliance Mash! (It was an office smash!)
He did the Mash! (His compliance was so brash!)
He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)

From my cubicle walls, I saw him arise,
A compliance monster with wide, sleepy eyes.
He grabbed the forms, and the policies too,
Checking all the boxes, like a compliance guru!

He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)
He did the Mash! (He finished his training in a flash!)
He did the Mash! (He ate our compliance break food stash!)
He did the Mash! (He did the Compliance Mash!)

The lawyer ghouls woke from their power naps,
Stretched their bones, adjusted their fee caps.
They shuffled in, all ready to review,
Policies, audits, and procedures too!

They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a charge-by-the-hour smash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a legal clash!)
They did the Mash! (It was a fee-grab dash!)

The scene was shocking, we were digging the sounds,
Of compliance rocking, no compliance workarounds.
The whistleblowers were about to arrive,
With their vocal group, The Qui Tam Five.

They played the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
They played the Mash! (They grabbed documents for their flash drive cache!)
They played the Mash! (They settled for a lot of cash!)
They played the Mash! The Compliance Mash!

Out from his coffin, an auditor’s voice did ring,
Seems the auditors were concerned about just one thing.
He opened the lid and shook his fist,
And said, “Whatever happened to my Auditor Twist?”

It’s now the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
It’s now the Mash! (He audited receipts, for petty cash!)
It’s now the Mash! (His audits are not slap dash!)
It’s now the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)

The auditors joined, they were quite impressed,
The way the monster handled the compliance test.
He filed every report, with perfect grace,
Not a single infraction, could they trace!

They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)
The Compliance Mash! (Avoiding fines in a flash!)
They did the Mash! (No loopholes left to slash!)
They did the Mash! (The Compliance Mash!)

Now compliance is easy, no need to dread,
Just follow the monster’s lead to stay ahead!
So when compliance rules bind, don’t call them balderdash,
Wake your inner beast for the Compliance Mash!

We do the Mash! The Compliance Mash!
We do the Mash! It’s an audit smash!
We do the Mash! We never act too rash!
We do the Mash! The Compliance Mash!

Looking for more articles on the lighter side of compliance? Try out There Must Be Fifty Ways to Leave Your AgentInternal Investigations Are a Poe Substitute for ComplianceThe Grinch Who Stole Compliance, and Peter Rabbit Discovers Compliance! 


© 2025 Foley & Lardner LLP
National Law Review, Volume XIV, Number 304