Divorce can be one of life’s most significant transitions, and unfortunately, it is also surrounded by misinformation. Many people make important decisions based on myths they have heard from friends, family members, social media, television, or even ChatGPT. Believing these misconceptions can lead to unnecessary stress, unrealistic expectations, and costly mistakes.

If you are considering divorce in New Jersey, understanding the facts can help you make informed decisions and protect your rights. Below are some of the most common misconceptions surrounding divorce in New Jersey:

Myth #1: Everything Is Split 50/50 in a Divorce

Many people assume that divorce automatically results in each spouse receiving exactly half of all assets and debts; however, New Jersey follows the principle of “equitable distribution,” not equal distribution.

Equitable distribution means marital assets and debts are divided fairly, but not necessarily on an equal, 50/50 basis. Under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23, courts consider numerous factors when determining what arrangement is fair.

These factors include, but are not limited to, the length of the marriage, the income and earning capacity of each spouse, the standard of living established during the marriage, and the age and health of both spouses, to name a few.

As a result, one spouse may receive more or less than 50% of the total marital estate depending on the circumstances.

Myth #2: Adultery Automatically Determines the Outcome of the Divorce

Many people believe that if one spouse was unfaithful, they will lose custody, forfeit property rights, or be heavily penalized in court. The reality is most New Jersey divorces today proceed on “no-fault” grounds like irreconcilable differences. This means that adultery does not automatically affect property division, child custody, child support or alimony.

In most cases, courts focus on financial and parenting issues rather than assigning blame for the breakdown of the marriage. A spouse’s adultery could impact the divorce in other ways, however. For example, if a spouse spent significant marital funds on an affair, the court may consider that spouse’s depletion of marital assets when determining equitable distribution. Similarly, if behavior related to the affair negatively affected the children’s well-being, it could become relevant in custody proceedings. But the spouse’s adultery alone does not guarantee they will be penalized in court.

Myth #3: You Must Go to Trial to Get Divorced

Television dramas often portray divorce as a lengthy courtroom battle. In reality, many New Jersey divorces are resolved without the need for a full-blown trial. Oftentimes, spouses can reach agreements through attorney negotiations, mediation, collaborative divorce processes, and settlement conferences.

When both parties are able to agree on key issues like property division, custody, support, and parenting time, they may be able to avoid the expense and uncertainty of a contested trial.

Even where disagreements exist, many cases settle before reaching the courtroom. Working with an experienced divorce attorney can help facilitate productive negotiations and protect your interests throughout the process.

Myth #4: Divorce Means You Will Automatically Receive or Pay Alimony

Another common misconception is that alimony is guaranteed in every divorce. This is not true. Alimony is not guaranteed under New Jersey law.

Courts evaluate numerous factors under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23 when deciding whether alimony is appropriate, including the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and earning capacity, the standard of living during the marriage, the age and health of the parties, and several others.

New Jersey recognizes several forms of alimony, and the amount and duration can vary significantly on a case-by-case basis. Some divorces involve substantial alimony awards, while others involve none at all.

Because every family’s circumstances are unique, there is no universal formula that guarantees a specific outcome.

Get the Facts Before Making Important Decisions

Divorce can be emotionally challenging, and misinformation often makes the process even more difficult. Understanding how New Jersey law actually works can help you set realistic expectations for yourself and allow you to make informed choices about your future.

If you are considering divorce or have questions about custody, equitable distribution, alimony, or any other family law matter, consulting with an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney can provide the guidance you need to move forward with confidence.

This article was authored by Victoria (Tori) A. Wilton